


This Heart of mine

by xxELF21xx



Series: The Countdown [5]
Category: Helix Waltz (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drabble, Gen, Introspection, Love, M/M, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 20:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18301370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxELF21xx/pseuds/xxELF21xx
Summary: it beats only for me.





	This Heart of mine

**Author's Note:**

> it can either be gen or shippy, i guess? because love is both platonic and romantic.

_ It doesn’t belong to anyone but me. _

Love, it seems, is both gradual and immediate.  _ Falling  _ in love is gradual and immediate. Barbalius hasn’t much experience with  _ being  _ in love, but he’s sure that it’s gradual and immediate as well. Perhaps, some part of his brain reasons, that  _ breaking  _ from love will last an eternity and more. 

_ This Heart of mine,  _

Beats uproariously, like a trapped bird fleeing from its cage, watching her dress sweep the floors in every turn and her smile dazzle the crowd with every tilt of her lips. The petite blond, though not any weaker than he, twirls across the dancefloor like it’s  _ her  _ battle,  _ her  _ war -- and he respects it. Her partner, a man by the name of Hugh Olineaux, is smaller than she, yet he thrives next to her as well. 

_ I cannot let go of.  _

That’s what draws him in, like a moth to a flame, he thinks. Someone as small and fair as the Olineaux knight has no chance of passing as the ultimate winner in this feud they’ve started. Hugh manages to use wits and smarts more than Barbalius would like, but it’s a charm no less, and he appreciates the extravagance that almost every Finsel resident has. It’s endlessly amusing, every time Hugh manages to defeat him in a fight. Magda thinks so as well, he assumes, seeing her eyes light up with mirth and her eyebrow quirked up as a teasing question.

_ This Heart of mine,  _

The days they spend turn into months, the ringing bells of war suddenly forgotten. It’s not yet  _ falling,  _ neither is it  _ being,  _ yet it feels as though he’s  _ breaking  _ from love. His chest squeezes tightly between his ribcage, thundering loudly as Hugh speaks about  **marriage prospects** and  **never coming back from battle;** and though the man’s voice is ridiculously gruff and boisterous (as always), something soft and scared peeks through, a frail, beaten hand stretches out towards his own tattered one, fingers curling into empty air as they make secret oaths to return to their Lady in one piece.

_ will it ever beat as fast? _

This is what  _ falling  _ is, he reckons, when he sees Hugh hug a fellow knight close, tears in his eyes while saying his last goodbyes. There hasn’t been more red in a field in  _ years,  _ and Barbalius has almost forgotten the tang of iron against the heady summertime heat. Struggling to remain upright, for his knee is wrecked and definitely  _ not  _ working like they used to, he whimpers his way to his friend (he wants something more, he thinks), shoulders shaking as Hugh places butterfly kisses on the fallen, light and tender. Barbalius’ voice leaves him, throat dry,  _ he has long eyelashes.  _

_ This Heart of mine,  _

Iron is all he can smell, all he can taste, all he wants to get rid of. He’s had enough of this. What was he fighting for? Glory? His Kingdom? Pride? The shiny medal at the end of the road? His people? His vision blurs, sobs making their way out of his mouth. The flag is raised high, a signal of righteous victory. He bites on a glove, the blood coating his tongue a familiar flavour; there has to be something else. His entire being feels empty. This, he notes with a bitter stare at his sword, is  _ being  _ in love.

_ would you come back for it? _

He returns home to their Lady, alone. 

**Author's Note:**

> come slap me on [tumblr,](https://hunkjasontodd.tumblr.com/) i know you want to, noc.


End file.
